unLoveable

It is a truth universally acknowledged that humanity often finds lies easier to believe than truth.

-Audrey Frank

 

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:10).

Ratna hummed to herself as she washed the dishes. The kitchen was small and sparse, but it was bright with sunshine today and it was hers. Recently married to a kind, gentle man, Ratna was the mistress of her own home. Her heart swelled with joy as she daydreamed about a little baby boy with dark curly hair like his daddy’s.

Crack! The glass she was scrubbing slipped out of her soapy hands, glancing off the edge of the sink and jolting Ratna out of her reverie. Jagged shards sank beneath the bubbles out of sight. In alarm, she drained the water, carefully picking up the pieces and placing them on the counter. The happiness she had felt only moments before dissipated, replaced by creeping dread and fear. Taking a deep breath, she made herself stand taller and squared her shoulders bravely. She would have to face the consequences. Slowly drying the broken fragments, she put them aside and waited for her husband to come home.

A short while later, Lutfi inserted the key into the heavy lock on his apartment door. It always stuck and needed a shove just up to the right to make it open, but he barely noticed anymore. Removing his shoes, he tucked on house slippers, calling out to his wife. Their daily lunch at home together was one of the things he loved about being newlyweds.

But today, instead of her cheery welcome, he found Ratna sitting quietly at the table, a small pile of something sitting cautiously in front of her. Avoiding eye contact, she kept her head bowed down low. Is she cowering from me? he wondered.

“Dear one, what is wrong?” he asked.

She slowly looked up, and he could see she had been crying. Her eyes shone with a mixture of fear and courage. Pushing the pile across the table toward him, she replied, “Here. You can beat me now. Please do it quickly.”

In Ratna and Lutfi’s Muslim culture, the Qur’anic edict placing men in charge of women was widely interpreted to give a husband the right to strike his wife if she displeased him. A particular superstition regarding broken glass urged men to beat their wives to cleanse the house of demonic influence. As a child, Ratna had witnessed her father beating her mother many times.

Now she sat immobilized, waiting for the generational pattern to repeat itself in her marriage. Lutfi stared at the broken shards of glass, carefully displayed on a soft towel, then looked at his young wife. She was beautiful, her eyes flecked with gold. Her hair lay softly against her flawless skin, the graceful outline of her face lovely to him. She sat stock-still, bracing herself for the customary punishment.

Lutfi placed his hands gently beneath her chin, lifting her face to his. “We know a better way now. We do not live by the old law any longer. We live by the law of love. Jesus the Messiah has taught us how to love one another. Do not be afraid. You are my treasure.”

-From Covered Glory: the Face of Honor and Shame in the Muslim World, p. 151-152, by Audrey Frank,(Harvest House Publishers, 2019). To read more about Ratna and Lutfi, get your copy here.

One of the immobilizing lies of God’s enemy is you are unLoveable.

Ratna believed her behavior deemed her either lovable or unloveable. She believed that even behavior she could not help had the power to separate her from love. Ratna is not alone in believing this unTruth.

The girl who has been trafficked for her body believes she is too dirty to be loved. She is unLovable. That’s just who she is now. No one in his right mind would want to love her now.

The woman who was adopted as a young child believes she is unLoveable, no matter how much her adoptive parents tried to show her love. That’s just who she is. After all, her birth parents didn’t love her enough to keep her.

The bullied middle-schooler who never has quite fit in believes he is unLoveable. That’s just who he is. He’s accepted it, and sometimes it makes him think he would be better off dead.

There is Truth that sets men and women, boys and girls, completely free. It is absolute truth, and it is unchanging (John 8:32).

God lovingly created every human to be loved. We were made to love and be loved. We were made for loving relationship with God and others. To secure this love-identity we were made for, God gave his life.

You inspire love and affection in God. He loves you on your worst day and your best day. #believetruth #thetruth4women Click To Tweet

God delights over you with singing. He rejoices over you. In Isaiah 62:4-5, He declares of you: You will no longer be called “Abandoned” …Indeed, you will be called “My Delight is in Her”…For the Lord will take delight in you…As a bridegroom rejoices over a bride, so your God will rejoice over you.

Uncover the lie that you are unLoveable. Expose it for what it is: unTruth.

Believe what is true about yourself. You are loved with a love so powerful that death could not stop it from getting to you.

Refuse to live by the old law of performance any longer. Choose to believe you were made to be loved.

Jesus, the risen Messiah, declares you Loveable.

Lord, I have believed the lie that I am unloveable. Thank You for loving me so much You gave Your life to rescue me. Help me believe today and every day that I am loveable. Amen.

Some lies seem to be written on hearts in permanent ink, graffitied in different languages across cultures and continents, yet all meaning the same. unWorthy. unLoveable. unSeen. unHeard. unKnown. unClean. unDefended. 

At The Truth Collective, we are seeking to uncover the lies and help people believe what is True. We are proud to unveil our latest project, the unGallery, premiering in Charlotte, NC, October 10-11. Global artists have contributed exquisite expressions of the lies we often believe, and the Truth that sets us free. I hope you will join us by reserving your space here. Be sure to use the code AudreyFrank for a 30% discount.

As we approach the unGallery premier, I will be unpacking these unTruths at our weekly storytime. Join me as we uncover lies and believe truth together.

@audreycfrank

@TheTruth4Women