Who Are You Waiting For?

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.

Psalm 62:5

What is wrong with that lady?

My daughter’s question came as we enjoyed a hike along one of Pennsylvania’s peaceful rivers. The warm weather was a fluke. Just a week earlier there had been a white-out when snow falls so fast and thick that all you can see out the window is white. In the strangest way, it reminded me of the sandstorms of the Sahara where we once lived, but those would have had to be called a “yellow-out”, which doesn’t quite roll off the tongue so nicely.

But back to the lady.

What lady, sweetheart? 

I looked at my dear girl’s normally happy face, which was at this moment screwed up with consternation, her eyebrows scrunched together in frustration.

The lady at the Consulate. Doesn’t she realize that a nice family with an adorable dog who just wants to do nice things for refugees deserves a visa?

At that point, we had been waiting for over six months for the work visa that would allow us to move our office to Europe and settle down in a new home. We had come from the Middle East back to Pennsylvania to wait for an expected visa appointment. 

The wait was getting to us.

Laughing, I tromped along the path with her, encouraging her to be patient. We prayed for The Lady and tried not to think about how hard it was becoming to be without a home.

I have waited many times in my life. I waited as a child to grow up. I waited to fall in love. I waited on God to rescue me from trauma. I waited for a child. I waited to see if my child would live after tragedy. I waited, and waited, and waited. I wonder how many hours of my life in total I have waited over fifty years? We sure hate to wait, but we have to do it.

In this recent season of waiting, a question rose, making its indelible mark on my mind. When I am asleep, I dream about it. When I awake, I hear it in my heart.

Who are you waiting for?

Am I waiting for the lady at the consulate?

Am I waiting on the doctor to heal my loved one?

Am I waiting on the counselor to make me happier?

Andrew Murray once said that #waiting on God is one of the least-developed, yet most-needed skills among Christians. #ResurrectionDay Click To Tweet

Resurrection Day began with waiting.

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stopped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”

John 20:11-13

Poor Mary. She did not know she could wait on Jesus! As far as she knew, Jesus was dead. She watched Him die. To wait on Him was illogical. The best she could do was to be near His body, and now that was missing. She was desperate to know what happened to this last desperate connection she had with the One she loved. 

The One she loved had just days before restored her honor before the community when He said, “Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her” (Matthew 26:13). Her hair heavy with anointing oil, shards of an alabaster jar at her feet, Mary had unknowingly prepared Jesus for burial. Mary may have felt it was her own special responsibility to care for that body after death.

Now she stood purposeless, dismayed, desolate. Determined.

They have taken away my Lord.

She stood, weeping. Waiting. Waiting for someone to hold out an anchor, some handhold to keep her from spiraling into the abyss called Loss.

…she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” 

John 19:14-15

Jesus can appear to us as a stranger in our times of agonized waiting. Mary was so intensely focused on the task at hand, her service to the Lord, that she failed to recognize the Lord Himself when He stood before her and spoke to her.

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

John 20:16a

But the One who loves us is patient, filled with grace and power. And He calls us by name in the waiting.

On what task are you intensely focused right now? Your brow knit in consternation, your feet running around frantically trying to make the mountain in front of you move. Who are you waiting on to give some anchor, some handhold to keep you from spiraling out of control, or your worst fears from becoming reality?

Imagine your mess right now. Stand by whatever has died, stoop to look inside the empty place whose former life you are now mourning.

Peer through the early morning mist. Do you see Him? Do you see the One who loves you? Draw near and look closely. His hand is outstretched in invitation and upon His palm is a mangled scar. Can you hear Him calling you by name? One powerful word. 

Your name.

Your anchor has come. Your handhold in the chaos. 

She turned to him and said in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

v. 16b

The Teacher chose a shamed woman to honor. He chose a restored woman to be His first pupil on Resurrection Morning. She learned to wait on Jesus. Not a gardener, another disciple, a change of circumstances. Jesus, only Jesus.

What are you waiting for today? 

Or, who?

Lord, I will wait on You alone, for my hope is from You. You alone are my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. Amen.

@audreycfrank

 

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash