Tagged: grief

They went out and got into the boat. John 21:3b Her house is gone, just gone. In its place is a garden. But when I stand there, listening to the creek that has not altered with time, I feel her front porch beckoning me. The swing sings on the wind, inviting me to sit awhile. I can smell the pungent odor of her marigolds, which she swore kept the mosquitoes away. I can see the sparkle of her blue cut-glass candy dish with the fancy lid, always full of cinnamon candy and butterscotch drops. It’s as real as it ever was. But my grandmother’s house is gone. Just gone. It was razed to the ground after a terrible loss. Nothing could ever be the same… Read More

No Scar?   Hast thou no scar? No hidden scar on foot, or side, or hand? I hear thee sung as mighty in the land; I hear them hail thy bright ascendant star. Hast thou no scar?   Hast thou no wound? Yet I was wounded by the archers, spent, Leaned me against a tree to die, and rent By ravening beasts that compassed Me, I swooned. Hast thou no wound?   No wound? No scar? Yet as the Master shall the servant be, And, pierced are the feet that follow Me. But thine are whole; can he have followed far Who has nor wound nor scar?   -Amy Carmichael From Mountain Breezes: The Collected Poems of Amy Carmichael (Fort Washington, PA: Christian Literature Crusade, 1999),… Read More

I see you, blossom of mine, in the darkness. …my companions have become darkness.  Psalm 88, I Cry Out Day and Night Before You, verse 18 Our children want to die, and their companions have become darkness. We thought that if we did everything right, if we trained them in the way they should go, if we instructed their hearts in Truth, they would be safe. Such cruel untruth. I am aware at this moment of no less than eight children who have had suicidal ideations or attempted to take their own lives in recent weeks. Their parents are all Christian leaders whom I know and love, people who live the gospel. The mental health crisis among our children is growing in strength and velocity. Like the Psalmist,… Read More

In the region of Abruzzo, Italy, amidst rolling hills of vineyards and olive groves, is a fountain. It flows with new red wine and is free to anyone who finds it. The fountain intentionally sits hidden along what is known as Il Cammino di San Tomasso, or, The Path of Saint Thomas. Pilgrims may stop for a drink on their way to the Basilica of Saint Thomas the Apostle, a beautiful twelfth-century church sitting beside the sea in the quiet town of Ortona. In 1258, a captain brought the remains of Thomas the apostle of Jesus there to be venerated and protected deep within its walls.  Thomas is famously remembered as the Doubter. Honest pilgrims will admit The Way of the Doubter is a well-worn… Read More

A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again in a little while, and you will see me. -John 16:16 In even this, He understands. My Jesus, my Savior. The One who had to go where the Father called Him and in doing so, had to leave loved ones behind. [bctt tweet="Jesus understands the #grief of goodbye." username="audreycfrank"] This obedience is hard, Lord. We are moving across the world again. This time, I am older. I have tarried long with friends and family, soaking in the joy of their presence. I have taken time to think deep and give thanks for the gift of friendship, love, and community. Goodbye hurts more now than it used to. When I was young and zealous,… Read More

Hi friends,  I just had the honor of completing a training experience with the Trauma Healing Institute under the gentle and joyful teaching of Diana Spann, Steve Moses, and Susan Ryan. My goal was to gain training and certification to lead trauma healing groups. What I encountered was the healing of my own heart wounds, help processing trauma and burnout in my life, and the incredible gift of a new community of comrades who now will help me help others. In the coming weeks, I will be processing what I learned through my writing. I pray it helps you heal, too. That is the heart of the Wounded Healer for all of us.       Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a… Read More

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne (Hebrews 12:2). Everyone eventually faces a season of letting go.  Sometimes we are ushered into this inevitability without warning. The day we raced through midnight chasing the helicopter that bore our son to a burn trauma center was one such moment. The night my best friend sped over twisty mountain roads to the hospital where her dying daughter lay was one such hour. Strange and terrible that so many seasons change in the darkness of night. Sometimes we know a season of letting… Read More

I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. Joel 2:25 They sounded like tiny tap dancers in chaos. Wings flapping, jaws chomping, they stumble-flew all over each other, ravenous. Like a cloud they swarmed; like a machine, they destroyed. Up till now, I had only read about locusts. Today, outside my window in Africa, I was witnessing their demolition derby first-hand. Amidst the whirring, clacking cloud of little winged invaders rose another sound… a keening. The kind reserved for death and funerals. The villagers were mourning the loss of all they’d worked so hard for. Their families’ sustenance. Their livelihood. The very food… Read More

For my mentor, her family, and all who hurt this holiday season. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). No one wants to spend the holidays in a hospital.  No one ever wishes to spend Thanksgiving planning a loved one’s funeral.  No one ever chooses to spend Christmas unwrapping bandages instead of gifts, tending wounds instead of Christmas dinner. Wounds on their child’s burned body so deep they don’t even bleed. Such thoughts are horrifying. But they are a reality for many people this holiday season. The word holiday derives from the old English “holy-day”. How ironic for those who hurt on the holidays, those in excruciating circumstances they never chose. How could a day meant… Read More

You who are my comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me. Jeremiah 8:18 I sit by the water, watching a leaf trickle through the air on its journey to the rippling surface. The sky is blue and the clouds’ edges are so sharp they look frazzled and irritated. The perfection of their silhouette against brilliant azure seems to frustrate them. They want to frizz out a bit and break the blissful facade. Kind of like my naturally curly hair I work so hard to straighten. The wind kicks her heels, threatening to upend my coffee cup as if she agrees to help. Two people sit nearby and make me mad. I want to be alone. I don’t want to hear another human voice. I… Read More