One Mother to Another

Grab a cup of coffee and pull your chair up close.

I want to talk to you, one mother to another. There are some things we need to get straight, and I think we can help each other. We are both pulling this load, carrying this bundle, pushing this cart, holding tight to this privilege called motherhood. 

First, I want you to know that you can’t ruin everything. 

You’re powerful, that’s true. You are mighty because you are a mother. But you and I don’t have that much power. Power so great it can stop the always-pursuing, chasing-our-hearts, life-transforming love and grace of God.

God is sovereign, girl!

And underneath are the everlasting arms (Deuteronomy 33:26-28). He doesn’t just go before us (Isaiah 52:12), He goes behind us (Psalm 139:5). He cleans up the messes we make because He’s our rear guard! He surrounds us. He is above and beneath us. He wraps us up in His love and holds us as we hold our children. He leads us as we lead them (Isaiah 40:11). 

What a relief. We can’t ruin everything. Not by our mistakes, not by our best-laid plans that don’t work out. God gets the final word because He is the author and perfecter of our children’s faith (Hebrews 12:2). He is still writing their story (and ours!)

Another thing we need to get straight is that doing everything right does not guarantee everything will turn out right. 

Now, this hurts a little to admit, especially for those of us who grew up in wrong and made a long list of how to do it right one day when we became parents.

Don’t let it scare you; let it liberate you! Perfectionism can kill a girl’s spirit and put heavy burdens on her kids. Let it go, and be free. Do your best and know that God works through imperfection and suffering, the hard things that don’t make sense, and the painful situation your child is going through despite your best efforts.

God brings riches out of darkness (Isaiah 45:3), and He will do that for you and your children. So be free. Do what you are able and leave the results to Him every day and in every season of parenting (Proverbs 22:6).

Girl, we are not the savior of our kids. 

I really got this wrong for years. Until we moved across the world, my son’s pet bird died, and I didn’t have answers for all the whys.

I’ll never forget the day I sat beside my son on the sofa, both of us crying, both of us wondering why bad things happen. I took his hand and we crawled for the first time to the Cross together. Before then I’d always felt it my duty to carry him there, or either run to Jesus and bring back help.

But on that day, we went together and Jesus changed my parenting. Instead of believing I had to always know the answers and provide them for my child, I realized it was okay to not know everything and seek help together from the One who does. (My mother-pride was dealt a great blow that day.)

Jesus became the Savior of the child and the mama and we suddenly found ourselves on common ground together at the foot of the cross (Matthew 11:28-30).  Grace broke into our family and my mothering that day and has been growing us all ever since. 

I am not Jesus, and neither are you, Mama. Let’s let Jesus be our children’s Savior and ours, too.

When we don’t have the answers, let’s take our child’s hand without shame and go to God to find the answers. Or at least the grace to live not knowing them. Jesus will help us be who we are supposed to be as we allow Him to be the Savior He is.

Mama, God keeps your tears in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). 

Being a mother means we shed lots of tears. Tears of joy, delight, pain, exhaustion, and let’s not forget frustration. I’ve been known to go AWAL, only to be discovered hiding in my closet among the shoes and scarves crying my eyes out. Sometimes I run-cry. I figure the people passing me on the street just think I’m about to barf from running so hard. And there are the times I don’t manage to hide it from my children and ugly-cry right in front of them. (That’s a terrific perfect-mom-image-buster.) 

I have dear friends who have wondered if the tears would ever stop after losing their children to suicide, stillbirth, car accidents. They wonder if they are still mothers. (YOU ARE.) 

Some of you feel very much on your own, being the super-parent as a single-parent. You don’t have time to cry because you are so busy managing this tough job on your own. God sees you, and He sees the unshed tears as well as the gushers you allow yourself in private when you can’t hold back anymore. 

God cares for every tear in every season.

Not one mother’s tear is lost. He cares for the mother as she cares for her child, and He gives us everything we need to be a mother. Let’s ask Him for every bit. I know I need it daily. Don’t you?

Now, it’s your turn. One mother to another, I know you have so much to teach me. We are in this together. Being a mother is hard work. It can make you so embarrassed you want to drop through a hole in the floor. It can make you so proud you want to go on national television and tell the world how amazing your child is. It can make you want to spit, to sing, to cuss, to celebrate, to quit, to persevere.

It can make you lay down your life again, and again, and again.

We are not alone. We have a God who mothers mothers. #MothersDay #momencouragement Click To Tweet

He sings over us (Zephaniah 3:17), He holds us (Psalm 73:23), He counsels us (Psalm 16:7), He laid down His own life for us (John 3:16). With His help, we can do this (2 Samuel 22:30).

Happy Mother’s Day!

Lord, thank you for mothering me in every season of motherhood. Amen.

@audreycfrank

To go a little deeper, look up the Scriptures cited in this post and write them down (you can highlight them in your Bible like I do, or click on the highlighted ones above). Put them on your bathroom mirror and let God’s Word strengthen your heart for the worthy task of motherhood.