Alone with the Mountain

@audreycfrank

I was alone with the mountain. From my vantage point Mt. Kenya seemed to reach to heaven.

I had not made it to the top with my teammates.

An hour earlier we had risen in the darkness and begun the final ascent, hoping to catch the sunrise from the highest peak. Halfway up, altitude sickness gripped me and floating black spots blocked my vision. My guide quickly brought me back down the rocky trail. I could barely see him in the blackness. Dizzy and nauseated, frightened I might lose sight of my rescuer, I ran and slid after him down the narrow path.

We finally reached the safety of the camp, which consisted of a small wooden cabin with bunk beds and a rudimentary kitchen. My guide was gone back up the mountain to catch the others before I could mumble my reluctant thanks.

Frustrated and discouraged, I settled with a hot cup of cocoa and a sketch pad in front of the window and watched for the dawn.

My disappointment was bitter. I had been climbing for three days, anticipating the climactic view from the top.

I had failed just short of my goal, completely unacceptable for my perfectionistic self.

Now I was alone with the mountain, rising in its majesty, piercing the dawning indigo sky with its jagged, glaciered slopes. The mountain had won. I, on the other hand, had apparently lost.

In the quiet of my perceived failure, God began to show me other mountains in my life. 

Mountains that challenged me more than the physical one I had just come racing down in defeat. Mountains that loomed in my heart like doom, hiding the sun. Desperation for a child in the face of infertility. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Pride.

God came to me in that humble shelter and spoke kindly to me of His love. He filled me with courage and hope. Like the sun transforming the landscape as it rose, He changed my heart and opened my eyes.

In the shadow of that great summit, God comforted me with His presence. 

I realized I was not alone with the mountain; I was alone with my God.

That’s the sweet part of this story of failure and disappointment. When we feel alone with our mountains, if we look up, we will see we are not alone at all. Our God is with us, and He towers mightier than the highest peak.

The mountain had not defeated me. It had revealed to me the powerful presence of my God no matter what mountains I might face in life.

Together, God and I scaled a different sort of mountain that day and stood on the heights in victory.

Are you sitting alone with a mountain right now, staring up at its heights, feeling defeated by its massive strength? Turn your eyes upon the God who made the mountains. He goes with you as you climb. He sits beside you as you rest. You are not a failure. He is with you.

Lord, show me your presence with me as I face the mountains in my life. Amen.