Tagged: honor shame worldview

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”  When Joseph woke from sleep, he… Read More

The angel came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one, the Lord is with you!” Luke 1:28 In honor-shame cultures throughout history, women have been honor-burden bearers for their families, tribes, and nations. Men have served as honor guards. Honor-bearers and honor guards have learned their roles from childhood. Avoid shame at all costs. Preserve the honor of the group by doing your part. This is the essence of the honor-shame worldview.  Mary knew her role, even as a young girl. By all cultural standards, she was a beacon of honor. Like other Jewish girls her age, Mary carefully maintained this position in her family and community by doing the expected things: following religious law, fulfilling household duties, and accepting her family’s careful arrangement of… Read More

You have made us a byword among the nations;     the peoples shake their heads at us. I live in disgrace all day long,     and my face is covered with shame… Rise up and help us;     rescue us because of your unfailing love. Psalm 44: 14, 15, 26 Shame is not a foreign concept limited to countries where women are hidden behind the hijab, men commit honor-killings, or children with disabilities are forced to leave the villages of their birth. At the time of this writing, shame has shrouded the United States. We are a shame nation and the world is watching. We see shame differently than almost two-thirds of the world. (See the Global Map of Culture types here.) Shame is not the primary lens through… Read More

 Is being unknown such a bad thing? The thought of being known can be terrifying if we don't like what we know about ourselves. The possibility of rejection looms large and threatening, and sometimes, like during a global pandemic when we are forced to distance ourselves anyway, we wonder if being unknown might be a good thing. It's nice not wearing makeup, working from home in pajamas, just coming as we are to life, nobody watching and judging what they perceive to know about us. But it's not actually being truly known that poses the problem. It's the pain of rejection that may follow being known. So we work hard to protect and groom what is known about us. My Muslim friends are very good at this. So… Read More

@audreycfrank The billowing saffron colored melhfa blew around her small frame like a mystery. And that suited her, for that’s what she was the first day I laid eyes on her. An enigma, a puzzle, a silent beacon of courage pressing against the crowds outside our hospital gates. I did not understand her yet. But I would, and knowing her would teach me more than I could have imagined. Two hours later it was finally her turn with our team of examiners. The nurse was first, then me. As a speech-language pathologist on a cleft-palate team, my first job was to examine the patient and determine his or her candidacy for surgical repair within the context of feeding and speech. Patients’ names would then be… Read More