You Squeeze Me In

For my big bear.

O LORD, you examine me and know me.

You know when I sit down and when I get up;

even from far away you understand my motives.

You carefully observe me when I travel or when I lie down to rest;

you are aware of everything I do.

Certainly my tongue does not frame a word

without you, O LORD, being thoroughly aware of it.

You squeeze me in from behind and in front;

you place your hand on me.

 

Psalm 139:5, NET

We are journeying verse by verse through Psalm 139. To read last week’s reflection, click here.

I never knew how much I loved being squeezed until I had a child who could not bear it. In the early years of his life, I didn’t know his distress was called Sensory Processing Disorder. All I knew was that he did not want to be hugged by me or anyone, and he did not hug us. He could not even bear for someone to place their hand on him. This resulted in tears and misunderstanding as he reacted to physical touch on the playground, with family, and friends.

We lived in a North African culture where multiple kisses are the traditional greeting, and if you are a child, you are an open, adorable target for every grandmother, auntie, and schoolgirl you pass on the street. I was constantly mitigating my son’s intense aversion to bodily contact and the touchy-feely affection the loving culture had for him.

Most of all, I myself longed to hug him and hold him tight, to comfort him and calm his fears. To get that epic hug mothers long for when I picked him up at pre-school.

When we eventually learned what it was like for him to be touched, our hearts were broken. We came to understand that for his nervous system, physical contact often pitched him into fight-or-flight as his brain tried to protect him from potential harm. Armed with new understanding, we embarked on a journey that changed all our lives.

After years of occupational therapy, he started hugging us. What a great day that was in our family. Today, he’s 25 and squeezes the stuffing out of me every time I see him.

The thought that God squeezes us can be terrifying if we aren’t sure of His intentions or we don’t know He is good. The idea of God’s hand being laid upon us might pitch us into spiritual fight-or-flight, much as my son’s early nervous system did, if we aren’t sure He has good plans for us—plans to help, not harm.

But if we know He’s good, we might run to Him for that squeeze. We might flee to the tower of His strong arms for comfort when the days grow dark and unpredictable. If we know He has kind plans for us, plans for hope and a future, plans for our good, not harm, we might sigh with relief when He places His strong hand on us. We might just let Him lead us to a good place we don’t know how to get to on our own.

The knowledge that God squeezes us in from behind and in front, laying his hand upon us could be a very good thing. #comfort #guidance Share on X

How do you feel about a hug from God? Talk to Him about it. We need all the comfort and guidance we can get these days. I have found that He is good, and He always leads in a right way. I hope that might help you lean in for a hug today.

Lord, thank you for squeezing me in and holding me tight. Amen.

@audreycfrank

Photo by Luke Richardson on Unsplash